IMPORTANT INFORMATION CONTAINED WITHIN THIS POST!

On my very first post to this blog the last sentence reads "I hope you will find it entertaining and I'm sure we'll all garner some useful knowledge." Tonight's post verifies that prediction perfectly. In fact, this may be the very first time anyone anywhere has learned what I learned today. I kid you not.
Today was my day off so I went to the city to get some things done and also to buy some snowshoes. It started out normal enough. I noticed the neighbor's horses were down by the road so I stopped and took a couple of pictures.





I did purchase a pair of snowshoes. The Tubb's Frontier model. Extra long at 36" because I knew I would often be carrying weight like my chainsaw,etc. Here is a picture of one of them.



After I got home late this afternoon I put away my groceries and got the wood stove burning. Next on my list of things to do was to empty my porta-potty tank. I had been waiting for my day off to do this because I wanted to do it in daylight this time (remembering the cougar video clip). Therefore the tank was very full and fairly heavy. Being that the snow between the coach and the outhouse is quite deep (well over my knees) I decided that I would wear my new snowshoes to carry the tank to the outhouse. At this point I was completely unaware of the extreme danger I had just created with this decision. To be very clear on what I am about to convey I need to show you several pictures. First is a picture of the port-a-potty waste tank as it normally sits. Horizontal, with a round opening on top where the goods are dropped through from the toilet seat and water tank that snaps on top.



Notice there is a handle on the front of the tank that you pull towards you to open the spade valve and let the contents of the toilet bowl drop into the storage tank like so.



Very simple and efficient. When the tank is full you disengage the toilet seat and integral water tank from the storage tank and then you can stand the tank up on end like this next picture. Notice that big screw cap on top. That is removed when you are ready to dump the tank into a outhouse or home toilet. Notice also the handy handle for carrying the tank like a suitcase to wherever you are going. Well actually airports and the like are probably not a good idea.



This is what the other side looks like. Who cares? You are about to find out why this is so important.



So I put on my new snowshoes and off I go towards the outhouse. I find out right away that I'm glad I bought the longer,wider model of snowshoe because the weight of that tank was still causing me to sink quite deep into the snow. Before very long I was puffing from the exertion and got out of the deep stuff and onto a more packed surface to rest. I set the tank down. Now here is where I was in extreme danger and had no clue at all. I had been carrying the tank with the "toilet spade valve opening" facing towards me. The little handle you pull to open that spade valve is also on that side at ground level. While standing there resting I shuffled around a little bit and the outer edge of the snowshoe must have moved over right up against that little handle. When I grabbed and lifted the tank again it pulled that handle and spade valve wide open!! The subsequent carnage was unbelievable. About 10 days worth of raw sewage came gushing out like an explosion. All over my left side. My pant leg, jacket sleeve and left boot all got it bad. There was so much that some even went inside my left boot! And they are my work boots!! Both new snowshoes were covered with goop. I would have loved to have a picture of my face when this happened. Total shock and horror. A video would have been hilarious. The contents all over the white snow were a sight to see. Never mind the smell---OMG!!
So in conclusion port-a-potty tanks and snowshoes are pretty harmless items when kept apart from one another but if you EVER have to carry one of those tanks wearing snowshoes be sure to carry it with the smooth side of the tank facing you. In fact I would say to always carry the tank with the opening facing away from you no matter what you're wearing on your feet. Lesson learned.